by the bedroom window
a cup of coffee in hand
the cardinal singing her
morning tune to the waking
branches of a pine treei think about the conversations
we’ve had, from the very first one
til the last one
i kept it all in a vaporous book
i flip each page in the dusty air
searching for hints, some clues -
you’ve given that i might have missed -
as to why i was not worth the chance
the coffee’s cold
and stale
and the clues i was searching for
were not there
Really.
I didn’t really want to wear that dress
But I flashed and I flirted and I flaunted
Until I was everything that you wanted
Because I felt that was what
The moment called for.
I didn’t really want to go out but
I danced and I drank and I shone
Until almost half past one
Because I felt that was what
The moment called for.
It didn’t really feel that good but
I made the right faces and sounds
Until you were done going down
Because I felt that was what
The moment called for.
I didn’t really want something casual
But I gave you plenty of space and time
Until you decided to be mine
Because I felt that was what
The moment called for.It wasn’t really okay but
I shrugged and I nodded and I smiled
Until you thought everything was fine
Because I felt that was what
The moment called for.
I didn’t really feel like crying but
I stared at a spot on the wall
Until the tears began to fall
Because I felt that was what
The moment called for.
How great would it have been if, right after they announced the winner for the best lead actor, everyone’s phones simultaneously went off at the BAFTA’s and they all received a text message saying “WRONG!”
(Source: cheeseburger-first)
Emptied Footsteps
I have walked a million miles
To get to where we are.
I have cried a thousands tears
And exposed myself to you in ways I can’t even begin to explain.
I have smiled a hundred times
When I’m just wanting to break down.
I have loved you with all that I am
Even when I have had nothing else to give.
I have sacrificed the entirety of who I am
To be the person that you needed me to be.
I am asking you to give me something more
More emotion, more heart, more of you
And you tell me you just don’t understand.
So I will give you one more chance
To open up to me, to let me in,
To see the woman underneath the mask I’ve be hiding in for years.
But I’ve no more tears to cry
I’ve nothing left to expose
And I can no longer keep smiling
Pretending that everything is okay
That I am okay
I have walked a million miles
To get to where we are
But I won’t take another step
Unless it’s out the door.
There was a time
when I believed you were
real, solid, an undoubted
thought clinging to the edge
of my threadbare soul but
then I awoke one day &
realised you were only a phantom
string I’ve been strumming,
created not a beautiful song but
a more shattered being.
